self-pampering and well-being

most of you who know me now would likely be very surprised to learn that i used to be a foofy-girl. as a teenager, i was one of those girls who never had a bad manicure, whose toenails were either fire engine red, pearly pink, plum purple or flashy fuschia, who spent all of her extra spending money on hair care products, lip glosses, body treatments and polishes of various sorts. probably because i don't have nice boobs or a shapely body or a hot booty, i focused all my attention on maintaining a blemish free, smooth, buffed, almost perfect integumentary system. during that period in my life, leg and armpit hairs were never allowed to reach more than 24 hours maturity, manicures and pedicures were paint-chip, callous, dry skin and cuticle free, and the epidermis was soaked, exfoliated and lotioned with great ceremony and frequency.

sometime between being a care-free teen and a serious college student, i stopped painting my fingernails and wearing mascara and lip gloss every single day. sometime between being a serious college student and a not-so-serious master's student, i stopped soaking and exfoliating. sometime between being a not-so-serious master's student and a very poor immigrant working as a volunteer to keep the resume current, i stopped buying nice hair care products and face washes. somewhere between being a very poor immigrant and a low paid non-profit administrator, i stopped having my hair trimmed regularly and buffing the callouses off my feet (i NEVER wear shoes inside, and i wear shoes outside only in deference to the fear of having a hookworm burrow through the soles of my feet and find its way to my intestines, hence the persistent development of callouses).

now that i am a part-time research analyst and novelist with more free time and a bit more money on my hands, i am beginning to rediscover the sense of well-being that such self-pampering engendered. i am eating healthfully. i am exercising regularly (albiet resentfully). on thursday, i soaked, exfoliated, and lotioned my feet, and then painted my toenails a fabulous color (OPI's chica-go-get-a-manicure, if you're interested). my feet look and feel excellent. ;) i bought some nice shampoo to combat the effects of the bad highlight job that damaged the ends of my hair, and the curls are starting to bounce back. this morning, i shaved, exfoliated with the body shop's coconut scrub and lotioned with body shop coconut body butter. i smell good, my skin is soft as a baby's ass, and i feel awesome.

i feel so good in fact that i'm asking myself why i ever stopped my self-pampering routine. of course, part of reason is money, or a lack thereof for a long period in my life. but i realize now it's not about the type of 'product' you buy. it's about taking the time to care for yourself, to get in touch with what's going on with your body. it's almost a kind of meditation. you have to parce out a segment of time devoted just to your physical self. i don't have any problem giving that time to 'intellectual' or 'social' persuits -- i always make sure to spend time reading or writing, catching up on the news, catching up on my favorite TV shows, spending quality time with chris because these things are important to me. until recently, i've never made that kind of time to take care of my physical or material self -- i'll put it off, or not think about it all. i lived in my head so much that i forgot that my body needs just as much attention as my mind. today, i remembered.