can you blame me? i've got 60 pages of material due at work next week, and though i've got a lot done, i don't feel anywhere close to being done. i'm dying to work on the end of personal demons, and i just fucking found out that one my favorite authors in the genre that i write in is naming her next book PERSONAL DEMON, for god's sake. i'm also thinking a lot about the editing process, and where/how i'm going to tighten my writing and my story. i'm also thinking a lot about ghostkeeper, which will be my second books series. i'm also keeping up the exercise/eating right thing. i'm also managing to pay my bills on time, cook spectacular dinners, maintain my MSN-based chats, read two novels, hire a personal trainer, get the lenses in my glasses replaced, watch chris's team play softball, and sleep between 7-8 hours a night. poor chris is being ignored and deprived.
how in the hell did i get so busy? i don't like being busy. i am not a busy-type person. i am more a couch-potato type person who gets off on reading lots of books, preferably while watching TV and listening to music, yes, at the same time. i am one of those people who can literally sit in the same position without so much as a fidget for HOURS. so how did i get here, to this place where time to be a vegetable has been sucked up by the vacuum of work, social, and personal improvement projects? i am not this motivated! really, i'm not! maybe i've been possessed. yeah, that must be it...
sorry for the blog-lite post. it was a necessity, i'm afraid. i'll try for better next time, but the reality is that i prolly won't be able to do a thinky-thinky thing until after june 8. deadline, baby, yeah!
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
RIP miss snark -- death of a blog
about five years ago (oh, my god, i am getting so old), my friend jenny had a political blog. back then, blogs were popular among the techno-savvy only. blogger was not yet around to provide those of us with the computer skills of pre-historic humans an opportunity to share our lives via the internet. hers was the only blog i read, and when she stopped posting, i missed it, but i always knew (because we speak on a near daily basis) that her blog would be back some day. hope remained alive. i stopped reading blogs then because, well, hers was the only one i read.
fast-forward five years. thanks to jason's suggestion that i start keeping a blog myself, and the blogs of friends including jason and margarita, and the massive depth and breadth of the blogging community as a whole, i am a blog addict. i check my regularly read blogs almost as often as i check my email. they have become as much a part of my day as brushing my teeth or deciding whether or not i want to watch a horrible season one episode of star trek: tng on spike tv. and several days ago, one of them died.
miss snark, the very BEST blogging voice out there on writing and publishing, retired. she said she'd answered all the questions she could, and she announced that she would no longer be making new posts, though thankfully, she will maintain her website so that we can partake of her famous 'snarkives.' after i confirmed that the date was not, in fact, april first and the announcement was not, in fact, a joke, i was just struck by this incredible wave of sadness, much more profound than any i've ever felt over the death of a celebrity, or even a distant relative that i only knew from the way they pinched my fat cheeks at bi-annual family get-togethers. miss snark was gone. i wasn't ever going to get to 'talk' to her again, 'hear' her witty voice, or 'witness' her amazing knowledge and seemingly endless patience for naive and inexperienced and generally stupid writers like me (which isn't really the case since she's leaving us her archives, but that was the overly-dramatic thought i had in the moments after reading about her retirement). i was so, so, so sad.
and then i was so, so, so surprised because i've never stopped to contemplate how much my daily blogs mean to me. the regulars -- those bloggers who are committed to posting at least three times per week -- are a source of stability, of constancy. they are reliable, and that is frankly unique. miss snark was great, not just because she is brilliant, but for a whole host of other, deeper reasons: she cared enough about her readers to read and reply to their emails, to put on contests for them so they could improve their hooks or queries, to post important information about what was going on in the world of publishing. and she did so with humor and grace and not a little snarkiness, like a beloved grandparent (in case miss snark somehow ever stumbles upon this post, i should note here that i have no idea how old miss snark is, so the grandparent reference has nothing to do with supposed age) lovingly teaching their grandchild some skill that modern sensibilities have overlooked and undervalued. bloggers like miss snark are the reason that some people believe, in contrast to technophobes who preach against the impersonal 'unreality' of the internet, that the relationships developed in the online world are real and important. with the death of miss snark's blog, i realized just how real and important they are to me.
so here's a shout out to all my regulars. you know who you are. thanks for stayin' alive.
fast-forward five years. thanks to jason's suggestion that i start keeping a blog myself, and the blogs of friends including jason and margarita, and the massive depth and breadth of the blogging community as a whole, i am a blog addict. i check my regularly read blogs almost as often as i check my email. they have become as much a part of my day as brushing my teeth or deciding whether or not i want to watch a horrible season one episode of star trek: tng on spike tv. and several days ago, one of them died.
miss snark, the very BEST blogging voice out there on writing and publishing, retired. she said she'd answered all the questions she could, and she announced that she would no longer be making new posts, though thankfully, she will maintain her website so that we can partake of her famous 'snarkives.' after i confirmed that the date was not, in fact, april first and the announcement was not, in fact, a joke, i was just struck by this incredible wave of sadness, much more profound than any i've ever felt over the death of a celebrity, or even a distant relative that i only knew from the way they pinched my fat cheeks at bi-annual family get-togethers. miss snark was gone. i wasn't ever going to get to 'talk' to her again, 'hear' her witty voice, or 'witness' her amazing knowledge and seemingly endless patience for naive and inexperienced and generally stupid writers like me (which isn't really the case since she's leaving us her archives, but that was the overly-dramatic thought i had in the moments after reading about her retirement). i was so, so, so sad.
and then i was so, so, so surprised because i've never stopped to contemplate how much my daily blogs mean to me. the regulars -- those bloggers who are committed to posting at least three times per week -- are a source of stability, of constancy. they are reliable, and that is frankly unique. miss snark was great, not just because she is brilliant, but for a whole host of other, deeper reasons: she cared enough about her readers to read and reply to their emails, to put on contests for them so they could improve their hooks or queries, to post important information about what was going on in the world of publishing. and she did so with humor and grace and not a little snarkiness, like a beloved grandparent (in case miss snark somehow ever stumbles upon this post, i should note here that i have no idea how old miss snark is, so the grandparent reference has nothing to do with supposed age) lovingly teaching their grandchild some skill that modern sensibilities have overlooked and undervalued. bloggers like miss snark are the reason that some people believe, in contrast to technophobes who preach against the impersonal 'unreality' of the internet, that the relationships developed in the online world are real and important. with the death of miss snark's blog, i realized just how real and important they are to me.
so here's a shout out to all my regulars. you know who you are. thanks for stayin' alive.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
this post is...
more filler, in a likely futile attempt to make sure that i post at least once each week on the blog so as not to lose my loyal readership. i know, today is wednesday, technically 9 days after my last post, but i figure as long as i do one today and one sometime next week, i am keeping with my pledge.
on one hand, it's a real bitch to start writing when you don't know what you're going to write about, but on the other hand, it's freeing. though i've written my book without an outline, i've always known the major plot points i want to hit on before i sit down to write the next chapter. there's a lot of constraint now in the way that i write personal demons. i think about how much i use the word 'that', how often i speak in the passive voice, how often i modify 'said' with a much-maligned adverb (i.e. she said sadly, angrily, throatily, wryly, etc. etc.). i think about how a character is going to be read. my characters aren't nearly dramatic enough sometimes. for the most part, they are intelligent, emotionally sound, reasonable people. at times this does not make for interesting interplay, so i have to try and create conflict between people who, like me, can certainly participate in a conflict successfully if they are thrown into one, but don't particularly relish instigating one because they are bullheaded, immature, or asshole-y. so, yeah, it's kind of different to sit down to blog, and not have any clue where i'm going with it or what i'm going to say. i'm glad i made this pledge to myself, because i think it will help my writing overall, and it will help me keep in touch with you, dear reader.
on a related topic, i was forced to pick up a copy of bill gates's latest money-making, fascist program -- otherwise known as microsoft office. maybe i wasn't forced, so much as coerced. i need to have a registered copy for my job, since some of my work is legal-like, and my employer's employers would no doubt look down upon a researcher who plies her trade on bootlegged software. i was at first quite miffed to see that microsoft outlook is not included in this year's student/teacher bundle. it was replaced by something called 'one-note.' i scoffed to myself, "what is this one-note?" and purchased it anyway because i need the word, excel and power point programs. just for shits and giggles, i opened the one-note program, and to my surprise, it was an over-organized virgo's wet dream. i've had it for weeks now, and still haven't figured out all the fabulous functions. (oh, god, i can't believe i'm plugging for microsoft! ew! someone stop me!) one-note is made up of, get ready for it.... notebooks! and within each notebook, there are pages. so for example, i have a personal notebook with pages for shopping lists, account numbers (password protected, of course, and none related to money, only things like chapters and amazon usernames), books and music to pick up, and recipes; i have a work notebook with pages for billing hours, project ideas, and notes; and i have a writing notebook with pages for personal demons revisions and notes, gagan's second book (as yet untitled, obviously), and ghostkeeper, a new idea rattling around in my head that i might write between personal demons and gagan's second book. the Very Best Function of one-note so far that comes in verra handy for work is that when you cut and paste text or pictures from a web page, one-note automatically records the website from whence it came! this is so fabulous! no more writing a quote in my reports and asking myself, "now where did you retrieve this from, and on what date?" it also does some desktop wiki stuff, i think, that i haven't played with yet. the tool bars are fancy pants, and have every imaginable tag or highlight, again, some of which i haven't tried out. all i know is one-note is a veritable playground for the person who'd rather organize their information than get down to business. who, me?
on one hand, it's a real bitch to start writing when you don't know what you're going to write about, but on the other hand, it's freeing. though i've written my book without an outline, i've always known the major plot points i want to hit on before i sit down to write the next chapter. there's a lot of constraint now in the way that i write personal demons. i think about how much i use the word 'that', how often i speak in the passive voice, how often i modify 'said' with a much-maligned adverb (i.e. she said sadly, angrily, throatily, wryly, etc. etc.). i think about how a character is going to be read. my characters aren't nearly dramatic enough sometimes. for the most part, they are intelligent, emotionally sound, reasonable people. at times this does not make for interesting interplay, so i have to try and create conflict between people who, like me, can certainly participate in a conflict successfully if they are thrown into one, but don't particularly relish instigating one because they are bullheaded, immature, or asshole-y. so, yeah, it's kind of different to sit down to blog, and not have any clue where i'm going with it or what i'm going to say. i'm glad i made this pledge to myself, because i think it will help my writing overall, and it will help me keep in touch with you, dear reader.
on a related topic, i was forced to pick up a copy of bill gates's latest money-making, fascist program -- otherwise known as microsoft office. maybe i wasn't forced, so much as coerced. i need to have a registered copy for my job, since some of my work is legal-like, and my employer's employers would no doubt look down upon a researcher who plies her trade on bootlegged software. i was at first quite miffed to see that microsoft outlook is not included in this year's student/teacher bundle. it was replaced by something called 'one-note.' i scoffed to myself, "what is this one-note?" and purchased it anyway because i need the word, excel and power point programs. just for shits and giggles, i opened the one-note program, and to my surprise, it was an over-organized virgo's wet dream. i've had it for weeks now, and still haven't figured out all the fabulous functions. (oh, god, i can't believe i'm plugging for microsoft! ew! someone stop me!) one-note is made up of, get ready for it.... notebooks! and within each notebook, there are pages. so for example, i have a personal notebook with pages for shopping lists, account numbers (password protected, of course, and none related to money, only things like chapters and amazon usernames), books and music to pick up, and recipes; i have a work notebook with pages for billing hours, project ideas, and notes; and i have a writing notebook with pages for personal demons revisions and notes, gagan's second book (as yet untitled, obviously), and ghostkeeper, a new idea rattling around in my head that i might write between personal demons and gagan's second book. the Very Best Function of one-note so far that comes in verra handy for work is that when you cut and paste text or pictures from a web page, one-note automatically records the website from whence it came! this is so fabulous! no more writing a quote in my reports and asking myself, "now where did you retrieve this from, and on what date?" it also does some desktop wiki stuff, i think, that i haven't played with yet. the tool bars are fancy pants, and have every imaginable tag or highlight, again, some of which i haven't tried out. all i know is one-note is a veritable playground for the person who'd rather organize their information than get down to business. who, me?
Monday, May 07, 2007
filler
i don't have anything in mind to write about now, i just feel like writing. i think it has something to do with work. i've been doing a lot of report writing today, and will be doing a lot of writing (not the research, that's done) in upcoming weeks, and i think with me, once i let my writing genie out of its bottle, it ain't gonna go back in willingly. i'm going to have to stuff the writing genie, fighting, down that narrow neck, and plug the cork. there is little doubt in my mind that i will be lying in bed tonight writing in my head. (sometimes i wonder why i don't just get OUT of bed and write the shit down already, just so i can sleep, but there's a war going on between my creative brain and my lazy i-like-my-comfy-sheets-and-my-cuddly-man brain and so far, lazy ILMCSAMYCM is winning. i have 500 thread count sheets.)
i confess that i haven't been reading as much news lately, so i've got no funny or quirky or horrible material to use as a muse. the weather here is lovely. it's finally starting to warm up, and everything is a verdant, vibrant green. the smell of fresh plant life in the air is just about intoxicating. the bad news? i can't hide under my winter coat and heavy jeans anymore. sigh. shorts season is upon us again. how white are my legs? blinding white. they reflect light like the purest black absorbs it. we got a new barbeque grill, and have been utilizing it to great effect (warning to all you vegetarians out there: graphic material about the consumption of animal flesh forthcoming). we christened it with new york steaks, and since that first usage have had flame-kissed chicken fajitas, barbeque pork chops, and hamburgers. i've purchased some beautiful pork loins that i plan to marinate, grill and serve with warm tortillas and homemade salsa (read: pork tenderloin tacos, one of the yummiest meat dishes EVER). i got my first sunburn at baseball on saturday, and it was overcast that day AND i wore sunscreen. guess i'd better buy a hat. one of those old lady wide-brimmed ones. how incredibly summer-y all this is. talk to me in a month when i'm so fucking hot i can't sleep and i'm bitching about how much i miss central air conditioning.
so, what else? the book. i've been learning lessons while writing personal demons, and that's a good thing. yet, the fact that i've learned these lessons during the process scares me into thinking that personal demons was largely a waste of time. yes, i think it has been a success as a learning tool, but i also think it might be a failure as a Good Book. as jean would no doubt point out, i am not finished with it yet, and it won't be until i do a real read through of the whole thing that i can say whether or not it is a book i'd like to purchase and read. i guess that should be a true test of how "good" it is -- did i like reading it? anyway, the point of this is not to crap on personal demons, but to say that i'm looking forward to starting the next one, a different series with different characters and a different cosmology. i'm even considering writing it in third-person omniscient, which i've never experimented with before. all the short stories and books (total -- 3 book starts, and 2/3 of 1 whole, heh) i've ever written have been in first-person. i plan to write this one according to the eight rules of writing fiction by kurt vonnegut, which are, unlike most rules, very helpful, and i think a succinct approximation of what, apart from an interesting story, makes for a great book. holy comma splices, batman! don't get me wrong -- i'm going to finish personal demons, and i'm going to do it the best i can, to make it the best book that i can given what tools i've provided for myself so far, to do the best i can for the characters i've created that i really, truly do like and respect. but i am looking toward the horizon, toward something that gives me an opportunity to stretch again, this time with the flexibility and grace i developed doing clumsy, fumbling moves in personal demons.
i think that's it. the genie has been squished into its bottle. i'm out.
i confess that i haven't been reading as much news lately, so i've got no funny or quirky or horrible material to use as a muse. the weather here is lovely. it's finally starting to warm up, and everything is a verdant, vibrant green. the smell of fresh plant life in the air is just about intoxicating. the bad news? i can't hide under my winter coat and heavy jeans anymore. sigh. shorts season is upon us again. how white are my legs? blinding white. they reflect light like the purest black absorbs it. we got a new barbeque grill, and have been utilizing it to great effect (warning to all you vegetarians out there: graphic material about the consumption of animal flesh forthcoming). we christened it with new york steaks, and since that first usage have had flame-kissed chicken fajitas, barbeque pork chops, and hamburgers. i've purchased some beautiful pork loins that i plan to marinate, grill and serve with warm tortillas and homemade salsa (read: pork tenderloin tacos, one of the yummiest meat dishes EVER). i got my first sunburn at baseball on saturday, and it was overcast that day AND i wore sunscreen. guess i'd better buy a hat. one of those old lady wide-brimmed ones. how incredibly summer-y all this is. talk to me in a month when i'm so fucking hot i can't sleep and i'm bitching about how much i miss central air conditioning.
so, what else? the book. i've been learning lessons while writing personal demons, and that's a good thing. yet, the fact that i've learned these lessons during the process scares me into thinking that personal demons was largely a waste of time. yes, i think it has been a success as a learning tool, but i also think it might be a failure as a Good Book. as jean would no doubt point out, i am not finished with it yet, and it won't be until i do a real read through of the whole thing that i can say whether or not it is a book i'd like to purchase and read. i guess that should be a true test of how "good" it is -- did i like reading it? anyway, the point of this is not to crap on personal demons, but to say that i'm looking forward to starting the next one, a different series with different characters and a different cosmology. i'm even considering writing it in third-person omniscient, which i've never experimented with before. all the short stories and books (total -- 3 book starts, and 2/3 of 1 whole, heh) i've ever written have been in first-person. i plan to write this one according to the eight rules of writing fiction by kurt vonnegut, which are, unlike most rules, very helpful, and i think a succinct approximation of what, apart from an interesting story, makes for a great book. holy comma splices, batman! don't get me wrong -- i'm going to finish personal demons, and i'm going to do it the best i can, to make it the best book that i can given what tools i've provided for myself so far, to do the best i can for the characters i've created that i really, truly do like and respect. but i am looking toward the horizon, toward something that gives me an opportunity to stretch again, this time with the flexibility and grace i developed doing clumsy, fumbling moves in personal demons.
i think that's it. the genie has been squished into its bottle. i'm out.
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